Dear Maintenance Man,
I'm positive I can't be the only one who has experienced this
phenomenon, since it's happened to me on more than one occasion. You're forced
to let someone into your house, such as a maintenance man and who thinks it's
essential to talk to you, even though you're doing your best to look busy
reading that book. So not only does he find it necessary to talk to you he
thinks it's a great idea to tell a stranger, who's trying to ignore him, about
his "real job". I've had a singer before, which is awkward enough
because I don't want some random person signing in my living room. But this
time I got the comedian.
Now I know what you're thinking, "well that could be
entertaining". Its not, it's awkward. I had a fifty-something year old
man, that I couldn't get away from, telling me jokes I didn't want to hear and
don't think are funny.
However since I'm a nice guy I sat politely and listen to joke after
joke followed by him telling me which nights he performs at which comedy clubs,
where they are and that I should come see him.
First of all, have you ever been in an awkward situation and had to
fake laugh? It is the most unconvincing laugh ever. Not only is it fake, it's
awkward fake. That laugh is in no way sounds real! So if you, maintenance man,
hear me fake laughing, or not even fake laughing but just saying "oh,
yeah, that's funny" why would you keep telling me jokes!
Furthermore, when you ask me "do you like comedy clubs"
and I say "no", why would you tell me that I should come see you
perform?
So, dear maintenance man, no I don't want to hear a joke. No, I
don't think you're funny. And I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not going to
make it to the club on Wednesday and I don't think I'll make it Thursday
either. So please just fix the heater.
dito
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